Will it build goodwill and better friendships?
I think of this question as a bit of a challenge for us. Goodwill is being kind, warm, helpful, and friendly toward other people and good intent, wishing that good things happen or working together for peace and for good. Better friendships is pretty obvious – so for purposes of this article I’ll focus more on goodwill.
How often are we challenged when someone acts in a way that makes us angry? How many times have you seen a comment on Facebook or other social media that resulted in a temptation to write something that would not be kind, warm or friendly? Today, one mistaken expectation results in a sudden eruption of emotion, especially online.
How to Find Your Own Goodwill
How can we respond with goodwill? Here’s an idea or two that I try to put into practice when faced with these types of challenges. First, you need a way to blow off steam, write what you really want to say (in a document and not in your email software!) and then destroy it or shred it. Second, take some time to walk it off or distance yourself from your initial response. Third, write to the person you want to interact with as the kind of person you want to be.
Misunderstandings and Communicating with Goodwill
When someone leaves your business a one-star review that includes a typed comment, take some time before responding, then respond as if you are writing to the client you want to have. Address the facts. Acknowledge the other person’s feelings or situation. It is fine to have feelings, and it is understandable to feel stress in tough situations. Then explain why their attitudes or behaviors are not acceptable. Where a misunderstanding has occurred, offer to talk to them about it. When you have offered to discuss the situation with them and they have refused, I also note that in my response. I want any future client to see my response and understand that, if bad communication is the complaint, that the firm is doing what it can to resolve it. You want the next client or person looking at that review to say, “Wow, that’s the kind of firm I want to work with!”
For example, my ex-sister-in-law left me a one-star review three years after we had completed the guardianship action for her mother. We had obtained guardianship and the case had been closed without any complaints. The day after my divorce was filed, she left the one-star review with comments which were completely untrue. I did not identify her as my ex-sister-in-law in my response. I simply explained that I was surprised by her review since we had successfully completed the matter and closed it more than three years previously and offered to discuss her malcontent by phone or meeting. She never took me up on that offer; however, I did have a client come to the firm a few weeks later who stated that one of the reasons that they chose to use my firm was the response that I had given to that one-star review.
Going back to my recent workshop for seniors when two of the attendees did not agree with what the other said and both stood and seemed to want to fight it out. What would have been the better way of resolving the issue with goodwill? Perhaps letting me know that there was a disagreement or allowing us to move one party outside to talk to the staff at the senior center would have been more productive than yelling and standing and approaching each other. A little goodwill can go a long way. I, for one, would love to see that happen more often.
What about when there’s something wrong with an invoice? How many of us get ready for the mind-numbing conversation, series of transfers and demands in raised voices when calling customer service? It is as if we are programmed to “go to battle” when we need to have something corrected. What if we started with a simple question notifying the other side of the mistake to see if that works first? Again, a little goodwill could go a long way.
Goodwill Helps Businesses and Friendships Grow
Bottomline: Goodwill and better friendships is how businesses grow. Focusing on this rule even in the negative events that occur in life can create positive outcomes. A customer or client you choose not to represent creates the space for someone else who is wonderful to work with. A negative comment with a goodwill response creates the opportunity for more goodwill and new friendships. Take a look at your day or week. Think of all the networking groups or clubs you’re already involved in. Where can you inject a bit more kindness or helpfulness into your life or someone else’s?
Send me a note and tell me what you did. Seriously! Put “Goodwill and Better Friendships in ACTION” in the subject line. We’d love to hear from you!
